Ms. Kelley Hensley

“I never did well in school.”

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“My child doesn’t want to tell me much about their day.”

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“I work a lot and don’t have much free time.”

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“There is so much new technology; I just can’t keep up with what they are doing at school.”

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       Sound familiar? Being a parent is scary. And, it’s hard. You took on one of the most selfless responsibilities in the world when you decided to have a child. From what I see from most parents, sometimes it’s just overwhelming to know how to help your child at school.

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     Consider the last thing that you had to learn. We learn what we are curious about or what we think is necessary for the things we want out of life. Kids are the same way. It is essential that we find some way to make what they are doing at school relevant to their personal goals for their lives and try our best to integrate things they are interested in. This does not have to be complicated, though. I believe the best thing a parent can do to help their child become a better student is to talk to them about what they are learning.

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      My mother, never went to college. My dad never graduated from high school. In fact, my dad hated reading. I never saw him pick up a single book outside of the Bible my whole life. Imagine what he must have felt when his daughter not only graduated college, but moved six hours away to start a graduate degree in English. Oddly, our phone conversations during that time are the memories that I have of him where I felt the closest. He made an honest effort to relate what I told him to what he knew. He told me about the English teacher who let him read articles from a car magazine because it was the only thing he was interested in. He pointed out, that cover-to-cover, it was still technical reading. He also told me about the ways that writing fit in to his career, which to my students is always surprising when they find out that he is a police officer. Knowing I wanted to teach, he told me about how frustrated some of his men were when he sent them back to rewrite their reports because he knew they were not clear enough to be read in court. We talked about how their writing was a personal reflection of their credibility as a witness, how it stood for them and for their department.  My dad managed to show me that he thought that what I was spending my degree on was important, relevant.

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     It doesn’t have to be every day, but kids that know their parents will be asking are more likely to follow through on completing their work and seem to place a higher value in it. When you have nothing to add, ask questions. Ask them what they think about the topics they are reading. Don’t accept “nothing” as an acceptable answer for what they are learning at school. Keep trying.

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Other Tips:

1. Establish rules around completing homework- many parents require students to complete homework before leaving the house or watching TV. If a teacher says there will be homework every night, ask students to see where they have been writing it down. Make sure there is time that is quiet for them to work if they need it.

2. Check their organizational strategies- it can be as simple as a divider for each class’ work and a place to record their homework. Believe it or not, good organization is taught through trial and error. The important thing is that they don’t get lazy and “tuck and shove” assignments or notes.

3.  Keep up with midterms and report card dates—every school system I have been in puts these dates on the same calendar as teacher work days and holidays. Put them as alerts in your phone. Maybe even set an alert a week before they come home to check in with your student about any missing work before the grade comes home. Kids are less likely to hide things if they feel like they have a chance to fix it.

4. Read with them-I don’t care how old you are, everyone likes the sound of someone else’s voice reading to them. If you don’t feel comfortable reading out loud, ask your student’s teacher for a book that has two copies, so you can read it as well. I would have loved to have had a mother that read the same book as me so that we had something to talk about. Reading needs to be a normal expected thing in your house. It doesn’t need to be finished quickly. It just needs to be done sometime.

5. Make an open space for students to talk about the emotional needs they have going on at school—Learn their friends’ names. Ask them questions about what they would do when they tell you something "scandalous" they saw another student do. Be a safe place they can tell you if something is bothering them and keeping them from focusing at school. Reinforce that they are responsible for their focus as well as how they treat others, and let them know that if something is bothering them, you are a resource for them. What may seem simple for you might be brand new territory for your child. 

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I have seen parents make a huge impact on their kids in a matter of a few sentences, and I have seen them make a lot of excuses. The choice is one that happens every day, and you will almost always get a second chance.